We Asked, You Answered: “What would you do if your 20-year-old daughter told you she wanted an (elective) abortion?”
A common story heard from both pro-choicers and pro-lifers is the dilemma of a young woman finding herself unexpectedly pregnant. Beyond politics, it often comes with the woman having to tell her family that she is pregnant, which can be an incredibly vulnerable and difficult thing to do. So, we asked our followers on social media the following question:
A majority of answers were from pro-life followers, expressing their desire to support their child through the hardships and encourage her to choose life. A few others shared they would be okay with an abortion or emphasize that if she wants an abortion, it’s her choice. Here is a selection of those answers.
Natasha Greene: I would talk to her about why, then once we’ve had that conversation, talk about other options.
I’ve helped many young female family members with this actually, and I’m very proud to say none got abortions once we talked about their other options.
Samantha Flom: Wonder what I did wrong that my child would ever even consider killing my grandchild.
Tiana Thomas: Remind her that she is smart, strong, capable, kind, and loving. That if the father or his family is a factor, they can be dealt with. That she is not to be afraid of falling in love with her child the way her parents and grandparents fell in love with her. That this is a beginning to be celebrated and is not the end of anything she dreams of except selfishness, which is a prison of its own she is now invited to escape.
Nick Harden: Drive her to the clinic and respect her wishes.
Mario_Robles_244: “I’m so sorry sweetie. Your mother and I will take care of our beautiful grandchild like our own, while you figure out what is going on with yourself. Please stay with us so we can take care of you and this beautiful baby.”
Penelopedidit2: I would support her choice. It’s not my decision to make. It’s hers.
Shel: I’d hold her hand and ask her what support she needs of me in this moment.
Does she need help making the appointment?
Does she need someone to talk to?
Does she need someone to go with her?
I’d make sure she’s weighed the pros and cons of all her options so she can make an informed decision that works for her.
Whatever she decides, I’m there.
No shame, no judgement, no guilt trips.
John Brockman: Lead with curiosity and love. Thank her for telling me, especially since she knows my view of abortion. Encourage her to tell me more. Pray with her. Ask what she would need in order to consider keeping the baby. Tell her I love her no matter what she chooses, but ask her directly not to abort the child. Reassure her that I’d raise the child myself until she feels able.
Corissa Huston: Say “alright let’s go babe”
Michelle Roderiguez de Buenestro: “I love you, I’ll support you and baby, but you know I cannot help you with that. What is making you feel that way?
Dermot Kearney: I would propose discussing the issue with her, ensuring she understands exactly the reality of abortion and also the alternative life-affirming options.
Cindy Allbee: If my daughter told me this, I’d thank her for telling me and trusting me with the information. Second, I’d realize (knowing my daughter) that she came to me with a situation that she doesn’t know how to handle. Generally, when they come to you with their concerns, they want your input and advice. I would remind her who she is, that we will always love her, and encourage her to remember that her baby is a human that deserves the right to live.
Finally, I would tell her that I couldn’t support her decision to end a life and then I’d tell her that I’d raise the baby and he/ she would never have to know the truth if that was her wish (we would do a closed, private adoption), but I would absolutely NOT support the abortion.
Mark Garron: At some point it is highly likely that your children will choose to do something that you find deeply immoral. Your ethical obligation is simply to be true to your own values and give your opinion in the matter. I think that is all you can do.
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