Livestream Recap: Being Pro-Life in Pro-Choice Social Circles
Michelle Buenrostro and I livestreamed our discussion about navigating being pro-life when so many (all?) of your friends are pro-choice. You can listen to or watch the replay here:
Or, if you prefer, here is a summary of our conversation.
Key Takeaways
- Usually even if you feel totally alone, it’s not actually the case.
- Most people aren’t extremists, and most don’t want to fight.
- Build community with other people who “get it.”
Summary
Navigating majority pro-choice circles as secular, LGBT, and/or left-leaning pro-lifers can feel isolating, but sometimes that isolation is more of an illusion than we realize. I’ve spent years in progressive activist spaces where it seemed like everyone was uniformly pro-choice, and I find the more upfront I am about my views, the more I discover I’m not actually alone. Often, someone else was waiting for the first person to speak up so they could admit they share the same convictions.
Much of this struggle comes from assumptions, both ours and other people’s. People assume everyone in certain communities is pro-choice, and we assume that being open will cause immediate hostility. But most people are not Twitter-level extremists. They don’t want to fight; they want to get back to their game night or club meeting.
When disagreements come up, how we communicate matters. Calmly saying something like “I disagree, but we don’t have to debate it right now” maintains relationships while signaling that pro-lifers are real, rational humans instead of the caricatures people have built in their minds.
Of course community matters. It’s draining to feel outnumbered or misunderstood all the time. That’s why organizations like Secular Pro-Life are essential. We create spaces where people like Michelle and me can belong without changing who we are. And once we find that support, we’re better equipped to show up authentically in our broader circles.
Finally, it’s important to remember that ultimately speaking up isn’t just about social comfort – it’s about human lives. Even if it feels awkward or scary, we have a responsibility to represent the unborn and the women harmed by abortion. Social discomfort is minor compared to the violence we’re trying to prevent.
Additional Resources
- Times the pro-life movement made you feel welcome
- Conversations with Pro-Choice Friends
- If you are part of the LGBTQ community, what’s it like to be pro-life in those spaces?
- If you discuss abortion in LGBTQ spaces, what messages or topics have you found resonate the most?
- “Self-Hating” Pro-Life Women
- How could the pro-life movement be more accessible?
- Coming Out as Pro-Life
If you appreciate our work and would like to help, one of the most effective ways to do so is to become a monthly donor. You can also give a one time donation here or volunteer with us here.
