Giving Thanks During National Adoption Month
As Thanksgiving approaches, we are also nearing the end of National Adoption Month. As an adoptive mother of two, I am incredibly grateful to my sons’ birth families, the many social workers who work to keep children in our community safe, and the broader “village” who have supported us.
There are a lot of misconceptions about adoption, especially in relation to the abortion debate. Myths often arise from confusion about the different types of adoption. Here’s a quick primer:
Domestic infant adoption: This is the type of adoption that comes up as an abortion alternative when a pregnancy is unplanned. Think of the slogan “adoption is a loving option,” or the movie Juno. A mother will place her baby in an adoptive home, typically selected in advance of the child’s birth; she may maintain contact with the adoptive family (an “open” adoption) or prefer privacy (a “closed” adoption).
If a pregnant mother is abortion-vulnerable because she would not wish to parent under any circumstance, adoption can be life-saving. But when her concerns are financial — as is all too frequently the case — the pro-life movement must prioritize offering the practical support necessary to preserve the family, rather than promoting adoption. Marcia Lane-McGee made a good point at last month’s Rehumanize Conference: there’s something twisted about the fact that adoptive parents can request donations, but if a woman wants money to keep her baby, it’s seen as a “handout.”
Embryo adoption: In vitro fertilization is grossly under-regulated in the United States. Many fertility clinics, in an effort to juice their success statistics, will create far more embryos than their mothers can realistically, healthily carry. (Remember Octomom?) As a result, hundreds of thousands of embryos are suspended in a frozen limbo. In an embryo adoption, the frozen IVF embryo is introduced to the adoptive mother’s womb, and the pregnancy proceeds from there.
Because this type of adoption inherently affirms the humanity of embryos before birth, treating them as children in need of guardians rather than as property, it is a universally pro-life enterprise as far as I can tell. (If anyone knows of a pro-abortion embryo adoption agency, please speak up in the comments, because that would be fascinating to explore.) Prominent embryo adoption parents include Rehumanize International founder Aimee Murphy and her husband Kyle, and Let Them Live founders Nathan and Emily Berning.
Adoption from foster care: Despite the constant “bUt WhAt AbOuT fOsTeR cArE” comments from our loyal opposition, foster care doesn’t actually have much of a connection to abortion. Children in foster care tend to be older, and often were conceived in planned, loving circumstances. Parents may die, develop addictions, be incarcerated, struggle with mental health, or face any number of other tragedies that render them unable to give safe care to their children. Foster parents step in to give those children a temporary home while their families work a case plan. The goal is reunification. Sometimes, parents are unable or unwilling to take the necessary steps, and parental rights are terminated, making the child legally available for adoption. But in my four years as a foster parent, I have said “goodbye” far more times than I have said “forever” — and that is how it should be.
Kinship adoption: In a kinship adoption, the adoptive parent is a biological relative of the child being adopted, e.g. grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Kinship adoption can occur in infancy or later in the child’s life. It is a wonderful way to keep children connected to their roots and traditions.
International adoption: As the name suggests, this is an adoption in which the child being adopted crosses a border. These children may have special medical needs which cannot be adequately addressed in their home countries. Check out Reece’s Rainbow to learn more.
The bottom line is that the cliché is true: love makes a family. However your family formed, I hope you get to spend time together this Thanksgiving. Be well, and the blog will return next week.
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