Livestream Recap: Her body, his voice

I livestreamed my discussion with Greg Mayo about men’s roles in reproductive choices. You can listen to or watch the replay here:

Or, if you prefer, here is a summary of our conversation.

Key Takeaways

Men often carry deep, hidden emotional burdens related to abortion, regardless of what role they played in the decision.
Cultural narratives silence men, but authenticity from other men can unlock healing.
Responsibility and control are not the same, and men must learn to act responsibly even without final decision-making power.

Summary

In this conversation, I spoke with Greg Mayo about men’s roles and experiences related to unplanned pregnancy and abortion. Greg began by explaining that he has two abortions in his past (one at age 18 and one at 22) and that he has spoken to tens of thousands of people about these issues.

Greg described cultural messaging that tells men to “sit down” and “shut up” about abortion, summarized by phrases such as “my body, my choice” and “no uterus, no opinion.” He stated that, over time, men began to accept this messaging and stopped speaking up.

Discussing common themes he hears from men, Greg said that unplanned pregnancies often involve confusion, fear, and uncertainty. He referenced a 2022 Shepard Research study reporting that 71% of men experienced adverse feelings after an abortion, regardless of what role they played in the decision. Greg said men frequently do not know how to handle these feelings and often have not spoken about their experiences before. He gave examples of men who disclosed abortion experiences to him for the first time, including one man who spoke about an event from 53 years earlier.

We reviewed common public messages directed at men about abortion from both pro-choice and pro-life sources. Greg said he encounters similar themes online and in responses to his writing.

I asked Greg what advice he’d give men who don’t want their partners to abort. Greg recommended that they be honest, open, and encouraging, but he cautioned against trying to force a particular outcome. Meanwhile, for men who want an abortion while their partner wants to continue the pregnancy, he advised that they “step up” and prepare for fatherhood.

Near the end, Greg listed several organizations offering support for men, including his own website, Care Net, Support After Abortion, Men for Life, and Heartbeat International.

Additional Resources

Surveys and Research

White paper finds 71% of men say they experienced an adverse change after abortion loss
2025 article “Why Men Have Abortions” finds that 41% of men wouldn’t have chosen abortion if it had been solely up to them, and 67% desired to continue the pregnancy (55% somewhat or minimally desired, 12% highly desired).

Testimonials

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to keep a baby she wants to abort? (Reddit) A boyfriend’s long-term girlfriend is pregnant and wants to abort because she worries about handling a baby while in college. The boyfriend is pro-choice and wants to support whatever she chooses, but struggles because he also really wants to keep the baby.
My only regret is that it destroyed my marriage. (Shout Your Abortion) A wife gets unintentionally pregnant, believes her husband and her decided together on abortion, and aborts. Then the husband spirals and they ultimately divorce.
AITA for reminding my girlfriend it was HER decision to have an abortion? (Reddit) Man pressures girlfriend to abort, then years later tells her it was her decision and she can’t blame anyone else.
When she got a prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis, her doctor wouldn’t stop suggesting abortion. (SPL Blog) A woman reels after a prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis, and her husband is the voice of reassurance: I asked Darrin “What are we going to do?” and he calmly answered, “Well, we’re going to love our daughter.” And suddenly I didn’t feel so alone in our new reality.
AITA for getting an abortion and then filing for divorce? (Reddit) Man and woman marry despite different ideas about having children. She becomes unintentionally pregnant, he pleads with her not to abort, she aborts, he resents her, she divorces him.
Ask a Pro-Life Atheist: Marko Hoare. (SPL Blog) My long-term girlfriend became pregnant with twins, and she wanted to have an abortion. I respected her choice. We returned from the clinic absolutely devastated; she was in tears. I felt overwhelmingly that something terrible had just happened; as if a hole had been torn in the moral universe.

Healing Resources for Men

Follow Greg and his work here.
Support After Abortion: After Abortion Healing for Men

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