“I’d love to know what you think.” Opposing protesters dialogue.
Last year, SPL surveyed people about which clinical scenarios they’d consider abortions. This year, I published a very detailed analysis of the results, especially considering pro-choice and pro-life people’s differing understandings of abortion, and how we can use this information to have clearer, better conversations.
We discussed these results in our livestream “Abortion Across the Aisle,” which you can listen to or watch here:
More recently, Equal Rights Institute invited me to talk about SPL’s survey on their podcast. Our mutual call for clarity inspired a supporter of both ERI and SPL to share the following dialogue experience, which we share here with permission. I hope you find it as encouraging as I do. (All emphasis added.)
I had the best debate with a pro-choice nurse at the Minnesota state capitol May 2024 as we were both there on opposite sides of the issue. She had her sign (ERA) and I had mine (No Constitutional Amendment to kill unborn babies). I smiled at her and said hi and then she asked if she could ask me a question. I responded “of course.” She asked if I really believed my sign. I said “Yes, I do. I’d love to know what you think.”
She proceeded to tell me the saddest story of a young couple who showed up at the ER many years ago before she was retired. The woman miscarried and needed help, and she said no one would help her because they didn’t want to participate in an abortion
I listened with genuine interest and empathy. This retired nurse asked the couple if they were people of faith and then summoned clergy. I was literally almost in tears. This nurse, like many “pro choice” people, deeply cared for women. I’ve always known that.
When it was my turn to speak I just paused and was practically speechless. I responded with something like “Oh my gosh, that is such as sad story, and the compassion you showed is something I’m positive that couple will never forget.” The nurse finally said “So why are you holding that sign?” and said she genuinely wanted to know my response.
I explained that what she did for that mother was not an abortion, and if I could be blunt one of the things that frustrates pro-life people like myself is that miscarriages and even ectopic pregnancies are called “abortions.” Her eyes got big and she looked at me like “you know about ectopic pregnancies.” I explained that neither of those things are an abortion in the eyes of pro-lifers. Treating the mother in those situations is emergency medical care, and without medical treatment she could die. Abortion is the intentional killing of an unborn child. (Yes, that needs caveats.)
The nurse responded that she had no idea pro-life people thought that and our side needs to do a better job explaining that. I told her we try but are drowned out by the other side.
It was one of the best conversations I’ve had with someone. She ended by saying I hadn’t changed her mind but she learned something new. I thanked her for talking, and we parted ways with a smile.
The State Capitol was packed with protestors by that time, and after watching me talk to a woman holding an opposing sign, I had two more people who disagreed with me ask if they could ask a question.
SPL offers in-depth training on how to have better conversations with pro-choice people. Details here.
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