We Asked, You Answered: “Do you unfriend people who disagree with you about abortion? Why or why not?”
In a world where online discourse often feels incredibly toxic, do people actually pull the trigger on unfriending those who disagree with them?
Recently, SPL posed this question on social media: “Do you unfriend people who disagree with you about abortion? Why or why not?”
The resounding response was “no.” While a few participants noted specific exceptions, the vast majority of both pro-life and pro-choice commenters expressed a genuine desire for respectful, open dialogue and constructively engaging with differing viewpoints.
Here is a selection of the most insightful perspectives from that thread:
Ann Marie: Gosh no! Real change happens when someone you know, you love, and you respect has a difference of opinion.
Sadly, I have been unfriended my pro-choice friends. I was a little aggressive when I first had the veil lifted, so in hindsight I can see why some unfriended me.
@infocraving: Of course not. What if they want an abortion? I would want to be there for them.
Jaoni Matzker Wood: Nope. I’ve unfriended more pro-life people than not. I don’t unfriend over views, but over personal attacks and name-calling. I enjoy a good dialog where people can learn and hear different perspectives- and maybe reexamine their own.
@_pipdid: (unfriending is only relevant for Facebook)
You don’t have to follow people to be friends with them.
I will usually unfollow pro-choicers if that’s what they choose to post about, I’m not interested in having that content in my feed.
But I don’t stop being friends with people just for being pro-choice, as long as they aren’t one of the “I’m a proud baby murderer” types.
Jim Burke: Typically not. I can remain friends, regardless of views. Also, it allows me to see how they think, what their bias is, what their understanding of the subject is, what they focus on, etc. I remained friends with someone with whom one post led to hours of comments. As it turned out, someone else I knew read the entire comment thread and credits it with leading them to become pro-life.
@DFS_Lawd: Yes, I understand that they are acting in their instinctual mind rather than their analytical mind based on how they never engage the documented effects of abortion ban legislation
Sarah Cordova: No. I know of people who have had abortions. I don’t hold that against anybody because that’s not for me to judge. I don’t love it, but it wasn’t my choice. I can only place judgment on the things I do and the beliefs I carry. Now, if someone is going around celebrating abortion (and I’ve seen people do that), I’d really rather not associate with them.
@TaurulRoshoo: Yes, I do not make peace with evil
Amanda Jensen: Absolutely not. You can build relationships with people who have different views.
I’m friends with a few very pro-life people and we do talk about it, they know my story, we don’t judge each other
Jordyn Pearson: My step mum doesn’t believe in it. That’s fine by me, to me its healthcare. And most if not all my friends agree. A lot of them wouldn’t have one, but we will support anyone that needs to have one
Beverly Wood: No. I’d rather hear what someone has to say so I can form my own conclusions based on reason and logic. It also makes me better informed. I occasionally ‘snooze for 30 days’ people who post constant vitriol, but that’s about protecting my peace, not fearing their ideas. I refuse to let anyone live in my head rent-free—especially when a discussion devolves into name-calling or conspiracy theories that don’t hold up to a fact check.
While a handful of respondents said they would end friendships over abortion, the dominant theme was that disagreement alone isn’t enough reason to cut ties. Many participants emphasized the value of maintaining respectful relationships and open conversations, even across deep ideological divides.
Resources and Related Posts
- How to talk (not fight) about abortion (PDF flyer)
- We asked, you answered: What are best practices for online debate?
- We Asked, You Answered: What are points of agreement you have with the other side?
- We Asked, You Answered: Conversations Across the Aisle
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