We Asked, You Answered: Coming Out as Pro-Life

We asked our supporters on social media: “An atheist in a very pro-choice community wants to start being more upfront with her friends about her pro-life views. We have many thoughts on this process, but would also like to open it up to our followers. For those of you who have gone through this, what’s your advice?” Here are a few of the top responses:

Maggie V.: “I would always keep in mind when speaking about this that you may be speaking to someone who has had an abortion.”

@Quipple: “I would start by learning the gentle art of asking questions. And the key word here is gentle. Real life isn’t Twitter — we don’t need to try to own anyone, or even to try to convince them in one conversation. And these days, just the act asking questions is really all you need to do to out yourself as pro-life.”

Rebecca C.: “I found it helpful to start by making a very common-groundy point that tangentially brings in that I’m pro-life.”

Crystal K.: “I just say something simple that’s relevant to my life, like ‘My children were never my choice. They’ve had their own personalities and preferences from the womb onward,’ or “My [disabled] daughter is pretty happy her birth mother didn’t listen to the doctor who said she should have been aborted. She loves her life!'”

Pro-Life Libertarian: “Prepare to find new friends. That was my experience.”

Ned H.: “Every time (and I do mean every single time) that we have looked at a member of the human species and tried to argue that’s they are less human, we have ultimately lived to regret it. We rightly judge ourselves harshly for the trans-Atlantic slave trade, the subjugation of women, the Holocaust, and the forcible sterilization and medical malpractice against persons with disabilities. Why should we think this time will be different?”

Jessica C.: “I think a lot of times we can get farther by asking questions and listening. Ask questions that make them think. Ask them why they hold that view? What made them decide it’s better to be able to end a life than to encourage a woman to continue with life? Why are some children more valuable than others; does that view point work outside the womb for them?”

Jennifer W.: “I don’t stay quiet but, I also don’t go in gung ho screaming about how wrong they are. Simply and calmly state that you disagree that it’s okay to kill unborn humans. Be prepared to calmly refute the responses that will be the usual, bodily autonomy, abortion is a private healthcare decision, the new life is not a person yet, referencing the Torah or Bible with inaccurate interpretations of scripture. Try to direct to the conversation to just the biological facts and away from religion-only debate.”

Lorie: “Human rights. Equal protection under the law for all people. Biology proves a whole human being begins their life at fertilization. I’m an atheist who’s against people having any right to violate other people, and that’s what an abortion is.”

Jill T.: “Ask questions. Do you know what actually happens during an abortion? Would you be ok if puppies or kittens were ripped apart because of the owner’s ‘choice’?”

Rebecca L.: “I’ve been debating this for decades. I’ve come to realize that the deeper the deception the more vocal the opposition without addressing the scientific facts. Nasty name calling ensues with accusations of being judgmental. No amount of science will influence them because they are inculcated into the pro-choice thinking. It has not been pleasant. They will always think I’m ignorant and uneducated. Even though my area of expertise is health and human sexuality educator. And so, my work is interior. I consider for myself: What do I oppose without listening to the opposition? Can I listen without interrupting? Can I extend better grace to others who disagree with me? Can I be more courageous and have the moral strength to withstand the mocking? Being silent is not an option. Saying nothing is not an option, though the timing and tone of a comment is important.”

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