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Virginia Pride

We Asked, You Answered: What are some of the reasons people say you’re “not really pro-life”?

April 10, 2026/in Uncategorized, We Asked You Answered /by Virginia Pride

Secular Pro-life recently asked this of followers on social media: What are some of the reasons people have told you you’re “not really pro-life”? Responses shared common themes of frustration with being misunderstood or stereotyped by both pro-lifers and pro-choicers, regardless of political and philosophical beliefs. Below is a sampling of those replies, lightly edited for clarity.

On a related note, SPL’s Monica Snyder and Herb Geraghty recently shared their discussion of the motivations behind pro-life purity tests, the psychology of gatekeeping, and the impact of exclusionary language on the abortion debate. You can listen to or watch that replay here:

WAYA “not really pro-life”

Jenna Carodiskey-Wiebe: Because I’m pro-contraception, including surgical sterilization, and believe the decision to not have kids should be respected.

Kayla Cherise Pich: Because I’ve had an “abortion” myself. To clarify, I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2021, my tube ruptured and they removed it and the pregnancy which presented no heartbeat even at 7-8 weeks.

Jessie Bee: Because I’m not “traditional” enough to be pro-life, according to those “pure” pro-lifers. According to pro-choicers, I haven’t adopted or fostered, therefore I cannot be enough anti-abortion. Never mind those other pro-choice people who keep telling me that I am not supposed to adopt a child. 🙃

FranCatholica: Because I don’t support IVF (it goes against my religion)

ProLifeIVF: Being pro IVF

Destinesia: Pretty much all the reasons that can fall under being unable to magically, instantly, single-handedly fix every problem in the world from wars to climate fluctuations

Mary Flannery Jensen: From traditional pro-lifers: because I hate Trump, support contraceptive use, don’t care what consenting adults do in the bedroom, support LGBT+ rights, and don’t follow any of their accepted versions of Christianity; from pro-choicers (and some nontraditional pro-lifers): because I’m not a socialist and I support gun ownership rights

Valerie Jung Finnigan: Because they assume (falsely, natch) that I’m a Fundamentalist Christian and a Republican.

Michael Cammack: Maybe not quite a reason, but another silly thing I hear is “don’t you think about your daughter?” Yeah, I do. I think about how her life was just as precious and valuable in the womb as it is now.

Amanda Virginn: Because I believe women who regret their abortions and now fight for unborn children should be welcomed into the pro-life movement. Pro-choicers as well as pro-lifers sometimes call these women hypocrites. I find their testimony the most compelling because they went through it.

Kimberly Ferri Cakebread: I’m in favor of oral contraception. I’m in favor of the morning after pill. Im in favor of justified military action. One objection raised early on did change me: you can’t be pro-life and pro-death penalty. I changed my position on capital punishment after much thought on that.

Additional Resources

  • “You either support reproductive autonomy or you don’t.”
  • On the Single-Issue Struggle
  • We Asked, You Answered: What are points of agreement you have with the other side?
  • How to talk (not fight) about abortion (brochure)

If you appreciate our work and would like to help, one of the most effective ways to do so is to become a monthly donor. You can also give a one time donation here or volunteer with us here.

Related posts:

  1. We Asked, You Answered: Responding to Pro-Choicers Who Say They Wish They’d Been Aborted
  2. We Asked, You Answered: What experiences might influence someone to identify as pro-life or pro-choice?
  3. We Asked, You Answered: Do most pro-choicers conceptualize abortion as preventing a life?
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