We Asked, You Answered: What experiences have you had talking to your kids about abortion?
On social media, we asked our followers a personal but important question:
How should we talk to kids about abortion?
SPL also asked followers how they themselves learned of abortion as children. The responses were as numerous as they were insightful! Here are some that stood out.
khawk525: I taught my 6 yr old about the topic due to politics coming up at school (1st grade). I explained that some people think it’s better to not have the baby if they are in a hard place in life and aren’t able to be a parent to that child, so doctors cause the baby to die and remove it from the mother’s body. My child was rightfully horrified, but we didn’t get graphic at all. I don’t think graphic detail or photos of the procedures and aftermath of abortion should be shown until at least age 10 or 12, but I have shown my kids as young as 4 images of what babies look like developing in utero. Images of what babies look like in the embryonic and fetal stages are great for enforcing the value and beauty of life.
Kara B.: My daughter-of-a-British-woman mother was so aghast about talking about anything to do with sex and reproduction with her own kids, and my probably patriarchal father never indicated he even thought he should, which meant sex ed in our house was literally a discrete passing off of a 30 min, cheesy 90’s video tape on sex Ed and nothing else.
So in the end the 4 of us came up with our own ideas, I have an extremely pro abortion sister on one end of the spectrum, and then there is me on this end. It was only years later that I found out that my father is mildly pro-life (less than I had assumed given his religiousity) and my mother was more pro-life than I am (agreed with fewer exceptions), (much more than I had assumed given her deistic agnosticism).
You roll the dice if you aren’t willing to have difficult conversations with your kids. (tweet this)
make_orwell_fiction_again: I’m struggling on how to approach the topic when my children are older. I had an abortion 12 years ago, and yes I believe it’s murder. It’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made and an ongoing tragedy that, of course, leaves me heartbroken and filled with guilt & regret. I am pro-life, and I will raise my kids to be with an emphasis on human development. But I worry that when I tell them the truth, they will not look at me the same. If I teach them that it’s wrong, killing, life is a blessing, etc… will they think I am a murderer? I don’t know if anyone has experience with this, but any suggestions would be appreciated. Your video analyzing Vicky Chan’s response was very well spoken and I greatly appreciated it as a resource.
[Read more – How a pro-choice mom explains abortion to her daughter]
Simone P.: In my family we’ve always embraced, celebrated and cherished unborn babies…the idea of intentionally killing them, inside their Mothers womb, was intolerable and incomprehensible to my children..in fact, all children share this view. We learn a lot, when we listen to children.
home.lazysuzan: I’ve had conversations with my 5 year old son about this already, without heavily talking about the abortion part. It’s very clear to him that a baby in the womb is human and has life. I think in order to raise children who’ll value humans inside the womb, it’s the parents duty to educate them on human development prior to being “born” (when the heartbeat begins, when a pre born baby feels pain, positive stories about premature babies thriving, etc).
stephdenridder: I had this issue when my daughter’s 11 year old friend came over and was getting dramatic about women in the US “losing their reproductive rights” 🙄🤦🏽♀️. We live in Australia so she had been influenced by mainstream media. I carefully asked her what reproductive rights were and she said “abortion” and I asked her what abortion was and she said “ending a pregnancy” and I asked how do they end the pregnancy and she said “they take it out” and I asked what is “it”. She said “cells and tissue” then I started saying some facts about fetal development, she then got very confused and I started feeling guilty so I backed off 😅 sad thing is I’ve heard the same garbage come from my daughters mouth 😢 my daughter is part of the reason I started opposing abortion because I didn’t want her being brainwashed like I had been.
upperkupp: I was around 6 or 7 and rooting through my mom’s desk. I found a pamphlet explaining different types of abortion procedures (she had briefly attended nursing school in the 70s), complete with diagrams and photos of real abortions. I was HORRIFIED, and I knew in that moment I could never be anything but pro-life, no matter what.
Mary S.: Idk. I go back and forth on how I learned bout it – I was 4 and my mom took me to a protest where the local city gave a building permit to planned parenthood. My mom explained it as, “abortion hurts unborn babies.” Of course like many I was like, “who could hurt a baby?!”
So I tried to understand why someone would do that, and yeah I felt a lot of empathy for people in those difficult situations, it just doesn’t excuse hurting or killing little babies. Nothing really could in my mind. Ever.
So I’m a pro life leftist. Fun times.
Erika V.: Talking to my own children about abortion was something that I kind of did organically. With my knowledge of my mom’s situation (previous comment), I’ve never left the pro-life movement. In fact, before my son was 2, I was my very own unique pro-life situation: at 16 weeks pregnant I was diagnosed with BRCA1 breast cancer. Since I’d already had 4 miscarriages, a successful pregnancy was vital to me. At my diagnosis, my local doctors didn’t know what to do with me. Even knowing how staunchly pro-life I was, my OB asked if I would consider aborting. That was distressing to say the least.
I ended up going to MD Anderson and getting their recommendation for chemo while I was pregnant. I started chemo at 20 weeks pregnant, so I was bald when I began showing and when I delivered. My baby was observed via ultrasound every 2-3 weeks. At one point my amniotic fluid was very low and my daughter’s kidneys looked to be in trouble. I even did the local March for Life with my 18 month old son in a wagon and my unborn daughter in my belly. She was born on Thanksgiving day of 2009, which just so happened to also be her dad’s (my hubby) birthday. I won the Life Award that year for my witness & was even featured in the news.
So basically as soon as either of my children could speak, they knew we were pro-life and that abortion killed babies. When they got a bit older we discussed my mom’s situation as well as situations like mine (mother’s health and even prenatal diagnosis of issues for the baby). As they matured (they’re 16 and 15 now), our discussions have gotten more in-depth and started to cover more of the fear and social reasons for abortion. I’ve also shown them some of the more graphic videos and images of what abortion is. We even discuss the biological/scientific aspects of pregnancy and abortion since I have a degree in Molecular Biology & read journals for fun. At this point, they seem pretty staunchly pro-life.
christiecymreag: I was eight years old and I saw a prolife ad on television, not graphic at all. But I asked my mom what it meant, and she told me in age-appropriate terms what an abortion is. Reader, I cried.
Greg P.: I don’t think I knew until Clinton vetoed the partial birth abortion ban act. That set my political identity then and there for the next 30 years.
If you appreciate our work and would like to help, one of the most effective ways to do so is to become a monthly donor. You can also give a one time donation here or volunteer with us here.
