We Asked, You Answered: “Self-Hating” Pro-Life Women

We asked our followers on social media: “It’s your lunch break and you’re the only one in the break room when a coworker joins you. She starts telling you how she had a fight with her mom last night about abortion. She says ‘To be an anti-choice woman? You’d really have to hate yourself.’ How do you respond?”

In no particular order, here are a few of the top responses:

Mary J.: “I’d probably say ‘I am a pro-life woman and I don’t hate myself, nor do I hate other women.’ Maybe I’d lighten the mood by pointing out how ironic it is to be told I hate women as a bisexual, but I don’t know. I’d probably leave it at that though because I don’t really want to discuss politics at work.”

Raura D.: “I would say some along the lines of: have you ever considered, it’s not that a woman hates herself, but that she believes the intentional killing of an innocent life is wrong.”

AC G.: “I was in a situation like that and I busted out laughing, just couldn’t help myself. I should work on my poker face. She looked surprised, and I apologized for laughing at her. She changed the subject. I think she was genuinely surprised, maybe embarrassed, that I didn’t think the same way and she just assumed I did.”

Nichole L.: “I had two abortions and it was the worst experience of my life. I’m pro-life because I care about women.”

Ellen G.: ” ‘Do you really think it comes from a position of hate?’ Start there. The whole ‘they just want to punish women’ line comes next; it surprising how many pro-choices have never really considered that most pro-lifers actually believe a pregnancy involves a real baby.”

Nicole H.: “I’m not trying to start a fight like with you and your mom, but I’m a humanitarian, and believe all humans have rights, including unborn babies. I know it’s a tough situation to be in, but I believe there is a way to help both the woman and baby overcome their unique challenges.”

Anna Z.: “In a soft, terrified voice I’d probably say ‘well in full disclosure I’m super pro-life so I agree with your mom’ and then get out of there as fast as I could. I’m working on being more confident and outspoken about my views. I had a pretty traumatic experience with being ‘unfriended’ in real life after Dobbs, but none of it compares to the horror of abortion so I’m trying to stop apologizing for being on the side of human rights!”

Jackie C.: “I view it differently than you do. I see it as a human rights issue for unborn humans.”

Kara B.: “I don’t hate myself. If anything, I may have an overly inflated sense of self.”

[Photo credit: Mimi Thian on Unsplash]