The Pro-Life Adventures of Tanya the Tadpole

Secular Pro-Life founder and president Kelsey Hazzard here. Our Executive Director Monica Snyder is on maternity leave, giving me free rein to do ridiculous things like pitch a pro-life TV show for preschoolers to Ben Shapiro. The Daily Wire recently announced a $100 million investment in conservative children’s content, and I have a great idea.

Tanya the tadpole is a frog: not a dog, or a hog, but a baby frog! Some of the big frogs say she isn’t a real frog because she can’t live outside the water. Thankfully, Tanya and her friends (including her little sister, who’s still in jelly) are here to teach us that frogs are frogs no matter their age or size. They go on lots of adventures:

• Tanya outsmarts an evil beaver, who wants to reroute the creek because he thinks tadpoles are overpopulated. “How can there be too many tadpoles?” Tanya asks. “That’s like saying there are too many water lilies!”
• Tanya finds a group of tadpoles whose parents have abandoned them to go climb a tall tree. She saves them from a largemouth bass and they join the cast of characters.
• Big frogs tease Tanya for carrying her little sister everywhere and tell her to get rid of the “burden.” Tanya defends her sister: “It’s not her fault she can’t swim yet!”
• A mommy and daddy frog can’t find enough algae to feed all their tadpoles. Tanya and the gang are there to help.
• Tanya can’t remember her jelly time anymore, and she starts growing legs! Will the big frogs finally accept her? No dice: they say she still isn’t a real frog because she hasn’t lost her tail. Tanya rejects their discrimination and promises she will never forget the plight of the tadpoles.

A children’s show about abortion? Why on earth would you think it’s about that? If abortion supporters see themselves in the antagonists, that’s their problem ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m a moderate myself, and I’ve always viewed the pro-life position as fully compatible with liberalism. I don’t know if Tanya the Tadpole is conservative enough for The Daily Wire. What I do know is that no other network would have the spine to air it. With any luck, it could break into the mainstream and inoculate a generation against pro-abortion rhetoric. The abortion industry starts its indoctrination young. We must fight back young.

I have no personal connection to Ben Shapiro. But with the power of the social media, I’m sure we can get this in front of him. I renounce any personal financial interest; instead, a percentage of royalties should flow to pro-life organizations. So what are you waiting for? Tweet #TanyaTheTadpole at @BenShapiro! Send him some fan art! Let him know that there’s an audience eagerly waiting.

And Ben, if you’re reading this, you can reach me at info@secularprolife.org or DM @secularprolife on Twitter.